


Idiots

by JadeMoon



Series: Idiots [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dumbasses, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Missed all the signs, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 17:07:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeMoon/pseuds/JadeMoon
Summary: Agent Thirteen isn't new to SHIELD, she's been with them for more than half her life. She's made every effort to NOT make friends because people suck and they stab you in the back the first chance they get. She's been quite successful until she gets stationed at the Avenger's compound. There, things start to unravel for her and she finds herself breaking her own rules. Rules she put in place to protect herself. She's caught off guard by the one and only Captain Rogers and things just spiral from there.They're both idiots. You'll see. Then we may add a third idiot, but Barnes is by far the brightest of the three.





	Idiots

“Where is Wanda?” Vision asks impatiently.

“She and the new team member just landed,” Steve tells him without looking up from his paper. Bucky smirks a little as he plays with the new _smartphone_ Natasha and Sam have given him. He hasn’t quite figured out what the halle the point of all the little icons are. This infuriates him as much as it intrigues him.

“They should have landed over twenty minutes ago,” Vision fusses as he leaves the group sitting area. Steve lowers the paper and shakes his head.

“He’s going to drive her nuts,” he mutters. Bucky grunts in agreement. He’s only been here three months and that’s long enough to know that Vision clings to Wanda like Saran Wrap.

“Here they come,” Bucky says as Wanda and Vision head towards them.

“Just give me a minute to check on her. She’s coming up for dinner,” Wanda tells Vision.

“Dinner. Then we’ll spend time together?” Vision asks. Wanda smiles and nods.

“How’d it go?” Steve asks. Wanda looks tired.

“She’s nice and she’s good. We need to keep her. I like her.”

“Yeah? She’s used to being alone. This was just to help us out, Wanda.”

“We _need_ help, Steve,” Wanda persists.

“I’m not saying we don’t--”

“Bucky, talk to him. Please,” Wanda begs. Bucky looks up at her in bewilderment.

“Wanda! I’m not saying no,” Steve laughs.

“Don't involve Uncle Bucky,” Sam teases as he walks into the room. “He’ll just defer you to Steve.”

“Uncle Bucky?” Vision questions. “Are you related?”

“No,” Bucky and Wanda answer in unison. Bucky goes back to looking at his phone.

“It was a joke,” Sam explains. “You need help yet, gramps?” he asks, turning his attention to Bucky.

“I will kick your ass into next Tuesday,” Bucky grumbles.

Sam laughs.

“You think you can catch me?”

Bucky looks up again. He catches Wanda giving him a smile and a wink. Bucky launches himself off the couch and after Sam.

“Oh shit!” Sam yelps and runs.

“You know you shouldn’t encourage him to chase Sam,” Vision states. Steve starts to laugh.

“If Bucky wanted to catch Sam he would. They’re horsing around,” Steve explains.

“They’re like little boys,” Wanda adds. “About Hayley--”

“Wanda, she’s used to working alone, but,” he says holding his hand up to stop her from arguing more, “we can ask her. Not all the agents want to work with us.”

“And if she agrees?” Wanda asks.

“I will welcome her with Buck’s open arms.”

“Bucky? Why?” Vision asks.

“He needs a hug,” Wanda laughs. “From a girl he doesn’t think of as a little sister or a little kid.”

“Or Natasha,” Steve adds.

“Ow,” Wanda gasps.

“Oh, she’s amused by how antsy she can make him,” Steve tells her.

“Hey! So, you want to show me where I’ll be crashing?”

“Hayley, this is Steve,” Wanda says motioning for the other woman to come closer. Hayley steps forward and Steve gets up from his chair.

“Captain Rogers,” Hayley says as she extends her hand to him, “it’s a pleasure.”

“It’s good to meet you,” Steve says weakly. Wanda’s eyes are wide in amusement. Hayley seems a little taken aback.

“So...this room,” Hayley starts to say. She sounds nervous. Steve shakes his head like he’s trying to clear his thoughts.

“Wanda will show you. We can debrief tomorrow morning,” Steve says, finally pulling himself together. Hayley seems to relax a little.

“Give me two minutes. I’ll meet you in the hall,” Wanda tells Hayley. Hayley nods and exits the room. Wanda gives Steve a smug look.

“She doesn’t look like her file photo,” Steve states defensively.

“Sure. Sure. Maybe you’d like a hug from her, too,” Wanda jests. Steve gives her a cold look but Wanda laughs it off.

“Debrief at eight sharp,” Steve says flatly. Wanda gives him a mock salute and walks off with Vision. Steve tries to go back to reading the paper.

====================================================================================================================================

Bucky pours a mound of cereal into the bowl and watches Steve as he tries to concentrate.

“What’s gotten into you?” he asks as he dumps milk into the bowl.

“Met the newish recruit.”

“What’s her name? Holly?” Bucky asks before shoveling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“Hayley. Hayley Stone,” Steve replies as he looks through a file.

“You have her file?” Bucky asks as he heads to the table where Steve is parked.

“Just looking it over to see what she’s done, what she can do, etcetera,” Steve answers. Bucky skews an eyebrow at him.

“Wanda says she left you speechless.”

Steve drops the paper he’s holding and glares at Bucky. Bucky isn’t phased in the least.

“That kid…”

“Is in her mid twenties and hates that you treat her like a baby,” Bucky tells him. Steve looks wounded now.

“I don’t--”

“You do,” Bucky corrects him and then shovels more cereal into his mouth. Steve huffs at him and goes back to looking at the file.

“Anything good?” Bucky asks.

“Same as the others...except...she’s been with SHIELD since she was twelve.”

Bucky chokes on his cereal.

“What are you two doing?” Natasha asks as she walks into the room. She smacks Bucky on the back a few times till he swats at her to stop.

“Looking at Agent Thirteen’s file,” Steve tells her.

“You’re snooping? Why?” she asks.

“He snoops through everyone’s file,” Bucky says as he wipes his mouth.

“Shut up and fill your face,” Steve growls. Bucky makes a show of eating his cereal now.

“There’s something wrong with you both,” Natasha laughs. Bucky’s antics around Steve have only recently come to light and only around Natasha and Sam. He still tends to bottle up around the others.

“I’m not the one snooping through recruit files,” Bucky retorts. This earns him a punch in the arm from Steve.

“No fighting in the house, boys. Take it outside,” Natasha chides them.

“Jerk,” Steve mutters.

“What was that, punk?” Bucky taunts.

====================================================================================================================================

Hayley unpacks the large duffle bag she brought with her. It’s only a temporary layover with the Avengers. Just until some of their team gets off the injured list and they can get someone more permanent to fill in for what Hayley can do.

That’s what she keeps telling herself.

She’s never been much of a team player, preferring solo missions. Less liabilities and she knows she’s the only one she can count on. She never hangs around in one location for very long. Getting attached to people and places can be dangerous. Especially the people. The ones you trust are the first ones to stick a knife in your back.

There’s a knock at the door and she instinctively grabs her sidearm.

“Yes,” she calls as she gets to the door.

“It’s Wanda. Dinner’s ready. Can I come in?”

Attachments. People either run from her or to her. She prefers the former. Wanda seems to be the latter.

She opens the door and Wanda’s eyes drop to the sidearm.

“Expecting company?”

“Force of habit. Sorry.”

“You’re safe here. Stark has full monitoring of the building. You can even ask FRIDAY who’s at the door,” Wanda tells her.

“Friday?” Hayley questions.

“Yes, Agent Thirteen?” a disembodied voice answers. Hayley’s grip on the sidearm tightens for a second.

“That’s FRIDAY. Nothing,” Wanda says to the voice.

“Very well, Agent Maximoff.”

“Not at all creepy,” Hayley mutters.

“It’s like Alexa but so much smarter,” Wanda jokes. Hayley laughs a little.

“Let me put this away,” she says, nodding to the sidearm. She heads back to the bedroom and secures her weapon and then triple checks to make sure anything else of value is secured. Trust is a rare commodity for her.

She heads back to the smallish living room where Wanda is waiting.

“You should decorate. Make this place your own,” she suggests. Hayley looks around in an effort to not offend Wanda. She refrains from telling her that she doesn’t intend to stick around long enough to decorate.

“Maybe,” Hayley says. Wanda gives her a curious look, takes her by the hand, and leads her out of the apartment. Hayley goes along with hit. She’s not mean by nature and she has no intention of being rude to her teammate. She doesn’t want Wanda to think she doesn’t like her because that’s not the case. She does like Wanda. She’s been nothing but courteous and overly friendly with Hayley and she seems nice. But it can’t go any further than this. Hayley has no intentions of becoming friends with anyone here or anywhere.

====================================================================================================================================

Steve is in the common room mindlessly flipping channels. Sam took Bucky with him to get the three of them burgers from some pub Sam swears has the best burgers ever. Steve had declined to go. The three of them are at least six feet tall (Steve claims he’s six two) and the back of Sam’s car isn’t designed for anyone over four feet tall. Steve’s been crammed back there on a couple of occasions and he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy.

He sees someone lurking just outside the large sitting room. He waits to see who it is. Possibly one of the other recruits Maria has located from when SHIELD folded. Turns out it’s Hayley.

She steps cautiously into the room, eyes fixed on the 72” TV affixed to the wall. She sees him move and starts a little.

“Sorry,” she says before he can apologize for spooking her, “I didn’t mean to disturb you, Captain Rogers.”

“You didn’t and we’re off the clock so you can call me Steve.”

She smiles a little.

“Are you looking for someone or something?” he asks.

“No. Just exploring. Trying to get my bearings.”

“I can take you on a tour if you want,” he offers. She’s looking around the room, surveying it much the same way Bucky had after he first arrived. He wonders if she’s looking for escape routes, threats, hiding spots….

“No thanks. I’ll figure it out.”

“You can sit and watch TV in here. You don’t have to leave,” he says as she starts to walk away. She considers this for a moment.

“I should really get ready for the debriefing.”

“Tomorrow. Relax, Hayley. We aren’t all business all the time. We’d all be in straight jackets.”

She laughs at his joke. He grins a little.

“Alright. What are you watching?” she asks, coming back into the room.

“Something called _Prometheus_ ,” he tells her. She takes a seat at the opposite end of the large sectional. He’s a little surprised by this. Any other time a recruit has caught him watching TV in here they sit as close to him as they can. Especially the females. Then they talk nonstop. The females flirt (he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like that) and the men bust his chops about everything under the sun. Sometimes the men flirt, too. He keeps it professional with them because that’s how things are done. Natasha had warned him that dating the recruits would most likely be a bad idea. Rumors start and Captain America has a reputation to maintain.

Steve had wanted to argue that they wouldn’t be going out with Captain America but he soon realized that’s all the recruits see him as. He would only ever be Captain America, never Steve Rogers.

He had said something to Bucky about it once. Bucky had nodded his head in agreement.

“You’ll be hard pressed to find someone who sees beyond the shield, kid. Captain America is a hero. Steve Rogers is a punk from Brooklyn.”

Steve had thrown a box of cereal at Bucky’s head for that, but he was right. Cap is a symbol for whatever people need at that moment. Steve is a man with needs and desires just like everyone else. The two don’t really seem to mesh.

“Have you seen this before?” she asks. Steve glances over at her.

“No. Have you?”

“Yeah.”

“I can change the channel,” he says as he picks up the remote.

“No. You might like it.”

He laughs.

“Does that mean you didn’t?” he asks her.

“Ask me again after you’ve seen it. I don’t want to sway your opinion one way or the other.”

“I see,” he says. He glances at her again. She’s sitting with her legs tucked underneath her and she’s looking at her phone. He’s not sure if he should keep talking to her or not. He’s not used to sitting in silence when he’s in here with a recruit.

He sits quietly for a few more minutes trying to think of something to say to her. He’s not sure why he feels like he needs to keep talking to her, only that he does. He looks up at the screen just as the female protagonist starts to scream.

“They all follow the same plotlines pretty much,” he mumbles.

“Monster movies? Pretty much,” she agrees. “That’s their formula.”

“They need to work on their formula,” he grumbles. Predictable doesn’t begin to cover what he’s seeing right now.

“I guess it works for those few people that aren’t subjected to alien invasions or other dumb shit on a regular basis,” Hayley says after a few moments. Steve chuckles.

“Dumb shit, huh?”

She shrugs.

“Some random dude in Kansas has probably never seen the Tesseract make a guy launch himself off a twenty story building. Or come close to an alien screaming in his face,” she elaborates.

“True.”

“Unless he’s dealing with crop circles.”

Steve laughs heartily at this comment.

“They made a movie about that, didn’t they?” he asks. He knows they did, he just wants to keep her talking.

“ _Signs_.”

“That’s it. Did you see that one, too?” he asks.

“Only bits and pieces. What about you?”

“I did.”

“How was it?” She sounds genuinely interested.

“I don’t want to sway your opinion,” he says paraphrasing her words from earlier.

“Touche.”

“You should watch it. Tell me what you think.”

She gives him a look.

“I’m serious,” he says.

“Hmmm,” she hums with an air of disbelief. “It’s funny how my words sound with your voice.”

Steve laughs again. Wanda was right to like Hayley. She’s got a good sense of humor.

“You phrased it better than I could,” he says after he stops laughing.

“Nice save,” she laughs. Steve grins.

Silence again. It grates on Steve for reasons he can’t understand.

“How do you like the compound?” he asks, trying for anything to keep them talking.

“It’s alright. It’s a lot bigger than I thought it would be.”

“You’ll get used to it after a while. It takes some time to adjust. Tony is adding an addition so we’ll have more space to train. It should be done in the next few months.”

“I won’t be here long enough to see that.”

This catches Steve off guard. Where the hell would she be?

“Why not?” he asks hastily. She eyes him cautiously and he can see she’s thinking.

“Hey! Hey! Dinner has arrived!” Sam yells, marching into the room followed by Bucky. They both stop when they see Hayley.

“Hayley, this is Sam Wilson and the hobo behind him is Bucky Barnes,” Steve says introducing the two men and thankful that they’re arrival saved him from a potential faux paus with her.

“Hobo,” Bucky grumbles. Sam dumps bags of food into Steve’s lap.

“Nice to meet you,” Sam says casually.

“Pleasure,” she says getting up. “Enjoy your dinner,” she adds as she starts to leave. She glances at Bucky who has hidden himself behind Sam. Steve sees him give her a courtesy nod before he looks away.

“You don’t have to go,” Steve says moving the bags and getting up.

“We have plenty,” Sam tells her as he plops onto the sectional. He’s only doing this because Steve is. Sam doesn’t pay much attention to the recruits because they come and go so quickly.

“Thanks, but I had dinner already,” she replies. She exits the room quickly.

“Don’t get attached, Cap,” Sam warns as Steve sits back down. “Be like Barnes, admire ‘em from a distance. Like from a sniper’s nest.”

“Shut up,” Bucky snaps.

“Stop,” Steve warns. He catches Bucky looking at him and Bucky gives him that shit eating grin that means Steve’s going to have his balls busted about something.

“Not so speechless this time, kid,” Bucky taunts. Steve rolls his eyes.

“Says the asshole who hid behind Sam instead of talking to her,” Steve counters. Sam chokes on his mouthful of fries when he starts to laugh.

====================================================================================================================================

Hayley wakes up early. Earlier than usual. It’s just after five. She doesn’t debrief until eight. She decides to go work out some nervous energy in the gym if she can find it.

She changes, pulls her hair back into a ponytail, and right before she steps out the door she decides to test the omnipotent AI to see if it will give her directions.

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Agent Thirteen?”

“How do I get to the gym?”

“I can guide you,” the AI offers.

“Or you can just tell me,” Hayley counteroffers.

“Very well.”

FRIDAY gives Hayley directions and Hayley’s thankful she thought to ask because she would never have found the gym on her own.

It’s dark and the lights flicker on as soon as she steps foot inside. She’s blessedly alone. She goes after the heavyweight bag. Punching things is a great stress reliever.

She finishes punching the hell out of the bag just as Captain Rogers walks in. He looks sweaty and surprised to see her.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here this early. It’s usually just me and Buck,” he says walking towards her.

“I can leave. Give you your space--”

“You’re alright,” he says waving away her offer. She only sees Rogers, not Barnes.

“No Bucky -- I mean Sergeant Barnes?” she asks as she unwinds the tape from her hand.

“He got called. He’s with Clint. They should be over Belgium by now,” Rogers answers glancing at the wall clock. He doesn’t refer to the others as _Agent_. He refers to them as if she knows them as well as he does. She’s not sure what to make of that.

“Gotcha.”

“I wasn’t impressed,” he says after a moment. Hayley isn’t sure what the hell he’s talking about. Does he mean with her? What the fuck?

“I mean with the movie,” he adds. He sounds nervous or apologetic. She can’t tell which.

“The... _Prometheus_?” she asks, finally catching on. He smiles.

“Yeah. Not really what I was expecting.”

Hayley nods her head and starts to unwrap the other hand.

“Have you seen _Alien_?” she asks.

“I have. I’ve seen all the _Alien_ movies.”

She’s beyond surprised to hear this. She wouldn’t have thought Captain America to be a horror/sci fi fan.

“You look shocked,” he says with a small chuckle. She looks away as the last of the tape comes off.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m still human. I like crappy monster movies--”

“Now wait a minute,” she cuts in, lifting her head to look at him. “ _Alien, Aliens,_ and arguably _Alien Resurrection_ were not crap. _Prometheus_ was crap.”

He starts to laugh. It’s this genuinely amused, deep from his belly sort of laugh.

“ _Prometheus_ was crap. You’re right...at least about _Alien_ and _Aliens_ . Maybe you should rewatch _Resurrection_.”

He’s playing with her. Joking around. Of all the things she tried to anticipate about this place and the people this was not one of them.

“Maybe _you_ should rewatch _Resurrection_ ,” she says. His eyes widen and Hayley panics, concerned she’s overstepped her boundaries with the Captain.

“I’m sorry,” she says quickly, trying to save what little face she has left. “I...I need to go get ready for the debriefing.”

She rushes from the room before he can say anything. Her workout was only half finished so she forces herself to run up the stairs to where her quarters are. By the time she’s at her door there is a monster stitch in her side and her heart is hammering. She tries to chalk it up to the run but she knows it’s because of her lack of manners with a superior. She was stupidly acting like they were friends, being way too familiar with the Captain. That’s a good way to get sent to Siberia. Insubordination. Lack of respect. Speaking to a higher rank without consent.

This is why she prefers solo missions. She can’t get in trouble because she’s by herself. She doesn’t have to worry about her damn mouth.

All she can do now is hope that he lets this indignation slide and makes no further mention of it.

Hayley steps into the shower and tries to wash away the shame and worry.

“Agent Thirteen, Agent Maximoff would like to come over when you are available.”

The disembodied voice puts Hayely into a fighting crouch, the fight or flight response taking over.

“Jesus-fucking-Christ,” she mutters as she stands up straight.

“What would you have me tell--”

“I’ll be done in ten minutes,” Hayley growls, cutting off the funky AI.

“I will let her know.”

“Goddammit,” she sighs as she hurries to finish up.

Wanda is very punctual. Right at the ten minute mark and just as Hayley was pulling her jeans on there’s a knock at the door.

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Agent Thirteen?”

“Is that Wanda?” Hayley asks even though she knows it is.

“Yes.”

Hayley nods to herself and goes to answer the door.

“Good morning,” Wanda says cheerfully when Hayley opens the door.

“Morning,” Hayley replies and lets her in.

“I thought since it’s early we could go get breakfast and then go to the debriefing. Steve’s thorough and he’s going to ask lots of questions. It’s something we’ve all had to get used to.”

Once again Hayley doesn’t have the heart to tell Wanda that she won’t be here long enough to adjust to these things. Right now she’s too worried about how Rogers will perceive her now and if he’s already making recommendations to Fury or whomever about her next placement. Or possible corrective measures.

“Are you okay?” Wanda asks.

“Yeah,” Hayley lies. “Why?”

“You look worried.”

“I look worried or are you digging around in my head?” Hayley jokes. Wanda gives her a sly smile.

“He’s nothing to be afraid of unless it’s in a fight. You’ll see,” she promises.

“So you were in my head.”

“No.”

She’s lying but Hayley chooses not to pursue the issue.

“Come on. I’m starving and Vision can’t cook eggs to save my life.”

Hayley laughs and lets Wanda lead her out of the compound and into the heart of New York to a little diner. They order breakfast and Hayley listens to Wanda as she describes the team and how nice everyone is. Wanda’s trying to convince Hayley to stick around by telling her about these people who Wanda clearly regards as family. Even Stark. An empty feeling starts to grow in the pit of Hayley’s stomach. A gnawing loneliness that she is all too familiar with. She knows what happens when she tries to satiate it, tries to quell the loneliness. She gets hurt. She gets used. She gets thrown away.

She ignores the aching loneliness and focuses on the fluffy pancakes in front of her. They are damn good.

That’s when Wanda says something that makes her day.

“If you type up a brief rundown of what happened I’ll do the debrief with Steve. You can go out and shop for stuff for your new place or you can get some rest.”

“Are you serious?” Hayley asks after she chokes down her mouthful of pancakes.

“But you’ll come out to dinner with Vision and I tonight.”

“Always a catch.”

“What do you do for fun?” Wanda asks.

“Sleep. Shoot. Exercise,” Hayley answers.

“Wow. You and Rhodey and Bucky have way too much in common. At least Bucky hangs out with Steve. God knows what those boys get into.”

“Boys?”

“Every now and then when they think no one is looking they’ll argue or fight or torment each other. Like little boys or brothers. I saw Steve throw a box of cereal at Bucky’s head once.”

Hayley was about to take a sip of her coffee but she starts laughing and the coffee gets sloshed onto the table. She and Wanda wipe it up quickly, both of them laughing over the cereal box story. Hayley is fairly certain Wanda just made this up to put her at ease. It’s funny nonetheless.

They finish breakfast and Hayley agrees to go to dinner with Wanda. It seems like a fair trade for the most part.

Wanda chatters away about everything on the way back. Hayley is still amused by the image in her head of Rogers throwing a box of Fruit Loops at Barnes’ head.

“The offices are down here,” Wanda tells her. “How long till you have it typed up?”

“It’s ten of eight now, so five minutes if I’m lucky.”

“Do you want me to wait?” Wands asks. Hayley appreciates the courtesy.

“May as well,” Hayley says parking in front of one of the computers and pulling up the desired program.

“Done,” she says after typing furiously for almost five straight minutes. “And you still have one minute to get there.”

“He’ll be alright,” Wanda says with a shrug. She takes the paper from Hayley. “I’ll see you at six, okay?”

Hayley nods and Wanda heads to the debriefing.

====================================================================================================================================

Steve looks at the clock and his lips twitch. It’s almost five after eight. Wanda isn’t usually late and he knows nothing about Hayley.

Hayley.

His mind wanders back to this morning in the gym. Why had she made such a hasty exit? Was it something he said? They had a nice little banter going. He thought it was nice, at least.

Wanda walks in and pulls him from his thoughts.

“Sorry. Do you want me to come back later?” she asks.

“You’re already late,” he scolds her. She scowls at him and Steve is reminded of what Bucky had said.

“Sorry, Wanda. No, let’s do this. Where is Hayley?”

Wanda smiles.

“I told her I would cover this one since it was pretty basic. You know,” she says with a fiendish grin, “that’s the first time you’ve referred to a recruit by their name and not _Agent_.”

Steve’s lips twitch again.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve addressed the others by their names. Maybe not often…”

“If you say so,” Wanda teases. Steve grunts at her.

“Let’s get this started,” he says, shuffling some papers on the desk.

====================================================================================================================================

Hayley walks around the sculpted courtyard with its pristine botanical gardens. Stark spared no expense. The air out here is fragrant and soothing. She can almost forget what she does for a living. Is this what the norms do? Just putz around pretty gardens, oblivious to the dangers of the world? Must be nice, she thinks. Not that she’d willingly trade her current job for something else. This is all she knows. This - SHIELD - has been her life for almost a decade and a half.

A butterfly flits by and she’s blessedly distracted from her current train of thought as she follows it to a climbing rose trellis. The roses are a deep pink and so fragrant that they drown out the other plants in the area. She reaches out to one of the blossoms and it rewarded with a stabbing bite by the thorns. She hisses in pain and pulls her hand back quickly.

“You’d be better off with the lilies. They’re less likely to bite.”

Hayley looks in the direction of the voice already knowing who it is.

====================================================================================================================================

Steve went outside to clear his head. Wanda’s antagonizing remarks about Hayley and the smug grin on her face have Steve flustered.

He’s certain he’s addressed the other agents/recruits by their proper names. Damn near positive.

He catches sight of Hayley walking up the path and he stops. It’s like he’s lost control of basic motor functions suddenly.

His brain resets and he finds himself following her, trying to catch up without being noticed. She seems blissfully unaware of anything but the garden. She stops at the rose trellis -- she’s chasing a butterfly. This brings the sappiest smile to his face. He watches as she sniffs the roses, her eyes closing, a delighted smile on her lips. He’s still closing the distance between them when she reaches out to one of the rose blossoms. Hearing her hiss in pain speeds up his pace.

“You’d be better off with the lilies. They’re less likely to bite,” he says once he’s close enough.

She looks over at him and her eyes widen in momentary surprise.

“Captain Rog--”

“Steve,” he corrects her. “We’re not on duty, remember?”

She nods, still shaking her sore hand.

“I haven’t seen any lilies--”

“You weren’t at the debriefing--”

They had started to speak at the same time and stopped almost immediately. He sees her look down, a sign of submission. She heard what he said and he’d inadvertently shamed her. That was not his intention by any means. His mind tries to regroup in an effort to find a way to fix this.

“The lilies are further up the path,” he says taking a tentative step closer to her.

“I’m sorry about the debriefing, Sir. It won’t happen again,” she says quietly. She keeps her eyes down and side steps him before breaking into a run. He’s completely baffled and unsure what to do so he just stands there. He snaps out of it and now he can’t decide if he should chase after her or not.

He decides against it. If someone sees him pursuing her it’s going to cause a rumor wildfire and Hayley doesn’t need that anymore than he does.

Hayley.

He’s never addressed her or thought of her as Agent Thirteen. Not once since Wanda introduced them. Thirteen is an unlucky number, that’s probably why. But that doesn’t explain how he’s managed to put her on edge with him twice in the same day without meaning to. Or why she keeps rushing away from him.

All he wanted to do was show her the lilies.

====================================================================================================================================

Hayley sits on her couch (THE COUCH, not hers, she corrects herself) and takes several deep breaths.

“Don’t be afraid of him,” Wanda had told her. Right. She made an ass out of herself this morning in the gym and now this. She should never have let Wanda convince her not to go to the debriefing. She should have sucked it up and dealt with the aftermath of what happened at the gym. Instead she’s made things ten times worse with Rogers.

The worst part about this is that she knows better. Hayley knows this is what happens when she trusts people. She knows not to trust _anyone_. She trusted Wanda and this is what happened. It never fails. Give someone an inch and they’ll burn you for it.

It’s only another week. Maybe two. Then she’ll get shipped elsewhere on some other mission. Hopefully it won’t be to Siberia.

All she has to do is put her guard up and keep it in place....

“Agent Thirteen.”

“FRIDAY,” Hayley grumbles.

“Agent Maximoff regrets to inform you that she has been called away. She wishes to tell you that she will make it up to you as soon as possible.”

“That’s fine,” Hayley replies. She won’t give Wanda the chance. Catch me once, shame on you. Catch me twice, shame on me.

At least now she doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to blow Wanda off tonight.

“Agent Thirteen, Agent Romanov is on her way to collect you.”

“What the hell for?” Hayley demands. Panic ensnares her. Romanov is doing Roger’s dirty work. Shipping her to some godforsaken location.

Three hard knocks on the door. Hayley knows who it is and has to force herself off of the couch. She opens the door cautiously.

“Training. You were supposed to be there after the debrief you missed this morning,” the redhead chides. “Go get changed.”

Hayley goes from being worried and scared to being thoroughly pissed off. At herself. This is what she gets for getting sloppy.

She changes quickly and follows Romanov to a huge training area. Neither of them have spoken a word since Romanov _collected_ Hayley. Hayley has decided being mute is for the best.

She’s further infuriated when she sees Rogers and the one he called Sam in the training area along with a slew of still green agents. Swell.

“Alright!” Sam yells, clapping his hands. “Let’s see what you got! Who’s first?” he barks as he looks at the group. Hayley can see Rogers and Romanov out of the corner of her eye talking quietly to each other. She’s stuck being treated like she’s fresh off the farm. Lets just keep rubbing salt into those wounds, shall we?

She continues to stew on her stupidity as she watches the agents get floored one after another by Sam. He tells them what they did wrong and then offers them a word of encouragement. Snowflakes. They sure as hell didn’t do this with her or the other that were with her when they were training.

“Come on up, Thirteen,” Sam orders. There are murmurs from the newbs.

“Is that…”

“That’s the one that took the killshot in Bangalore…”

“She’s the one who…”

“They call her…”

Hayley does her best to ignore them. She makes her way to the sparring mat, all eyes on her, including Rogers and Romanov. She hates being in the spotlight and for a second she considers letting Sam floor her just to get this over with.

But that’s not her style. That’s not who she is.

“Not much of a fighting stance, Thirteen,” Sam taunts, bouncing on his toes. She cocks an eyebrow at him and stays quiet. He glances at Rogers and Romanov and then takes a swing at Hayley. She steps out of the way before he can hit her. He swings again, she steps out of the way again.

“Alright,” he mutters, “let’s try this.”

He drops down quickly trying to sweep her off her feet. Hayley moves with trained precision, lunging at Sam just as he tries to sweep her and fluidly rolling him onto his back and into a choke hold. Sam taps the mat in quick succession and Hayley releases him. She stands up and steps back from Sam, giving him room to get up. Murmurs ripple through the newbs. Rogers and Romanov are clearly invested in this now.

“Damn, girl,” Sam says and cracks his neck. He eyes her up and then starts to throw a mix of punches and kicks at Hayley. She blocks them. He tries to grab her arm and yank her off balance and Hayley uses the force of his weight to flip herself up and over his shoulders, wrapping her thighs around his neck and forcing him backwards onto the mat with a solid thud.

“That’s enough!” Rogers bellows as Sam smacks her outer thighs. Hayley rolls off of him and stands back up.

“I want a rematch,” Sam pants as he rolls onto his side.

“Not today,” Romanov says walking onto the mat. “Let’s see what else you’ve got.”

Romanov is relentless with her onslaught, but Hayley doesn’t back down. The _oohs_ and _oohhs_ from the newbs keep coming as the two women spar.

It feels like they’ve been at it for an eternity, neither giving the other an inch. Rogers finally barks for them to stop. Neither woman is ready to admit defeat. Both are soaked and panting.

“How do we learn to do that?” one of the newbs asks.

“Train with HYDRA,” another one jokes.

“Enough!” Steve barks. “Watch. Learn. Practice. Do you feel up to putting them through some paces with Sam, Nat?”

Romanov looks at Hayley and Hayley can see she wants to keep sparring. Hayley does, too. That drive to be the last one standing runs hot in their veins.

Romanov nods her head.

“Sure,” she tells Rogers, and then coming closer to Hayley she says in a low voice, “we can finish this another time.”

“Are we done for the time being, Agent Romanov?” Hayley questions in a cold tone.

“She’s finished, right?” Romanov calls to Rogers.

“Yes.”

Hayley walks off the mat and around the wide-eyed newbs. She’s going to be sore and bruised in the morning, but that match helped work out some of her anger and fear.

“Hayley.”

She had just stepped out of the training area when Rogers called her name. She stops.

“Captain Rogers,” she says as she turns to face him. He looks like he forgot what he wanted. His face is blank. It confuses her, but not enough to break the poker face she has on.

“Nicely done,” he tells her. He nods to himself as if acknowledging his own statement and then goes back to the training room.

Hayley heads back to her quarters deepening her resolve to get the hell out of here as soon as possible.

====================================================================================================================================

The next several days are a blur. Romanov volunteered Hayley to help teach the newbs melee techniques. That’s almost three hours if they don’t ask questions. It’s double that when they do ask questions. Then there’s weapons training and somebody thought it would be a good idea to do a crash course on code cracking.

Other than Romanov and the newbs she hasn’t seen the others. Not ever Rogers. She’s thankful for that saving grace.

A few days later her luck runs out. She’s rushing to get from weapons training to melee when she comes upon a very slow moving Rogers. She slows her approach and she can see he’s cradling his ribs. As she gets closer she can see cuts, scrapes and some bruising on his normally god-like face. He took a beating wherever he was.

“Hayley,” he says softly. He gives her a weak smile.

“Captain--”

“Steve. Just Steve,” he interjects. “How are you doing?”

Is he being friendly?

“Good. Fine.”

She wants to ask him if he’s okay, but clearly he isn’t and that question seems so fucking stupid…

“Are you going to be okay?” she asks despite the fact she knows he’ll heal fast. His smile broadens a little.

“Few hours. Maybe a day or so I’ll be right as rain.”

She nods, unsure what else to say or to do.

“Nat says you’re pretty fierce on the mat with the newest agents.”

Hayley’s lips pucker. This sounds like a trap.

“I should go, Captain Rogers. Agent Romanov is expecting me,” she says rapidly. She brushes past him and just as she does she hears him mutter “ _shit_ ”. She glances over her shoulder to see him with his head down and moving slowly again. He’s limping, too. Goddammit. Goddamn this place. Goddamn him. Goddamn her fucking overrighteous heart…

She turns around and runs back to him.

“Let me help you, Captain. Where are you headed?” she asks as she puts her arm around his waist and drapes his arm across her shoulders. He’s shocked by her audacity it seems, his mouth hanging open a little as she finagles her positioning to help him.

“My--my quarters,” he says after a moment. “But you have to stop calling me Captain or else I’m going to have to start calling you Thirteen.”

“If that’s what you’d prefer,” she says as they walk. It’s only slightly faster with her helping him, but she feels better knowing that if he loses his balance she can try and steady him or soften the blow if he falls.

He sighs heavily and she sees him shake his head. He says nothing else as they get to the elevators.

He lets go long enough to press the button for the doors to open and then puts his arm back over her shoulders, his hand holding onto her tightly. As the elevator begins its ascent he wobbles a little, losing his balance, and Hayley moves so she’s now in front of him, hands on his hard pectoral muscles, holding him steady. His hand drops to her hip to keep his balance while his other hand continues to cradle his ribs. She looks up at him, his blue eyes show swiftly changing emotions. She can’t get a read on what he’s thinking or feeling. The scrapes and cuts are much worse when looking at them this close…

She drops her eyes immediately once she realizes she’s been staring at him. She can feel the heat on her face. This is so not like her. What the fuck is happening here?

The elevator stops, Steve teeters a little but she keeps him steady. She moves back to his side and he puts his arm over her shoulders again. They begin their trek to his quarters.

It takes longer than she would have thought it would and she knows - _she knows_ \- Romanov is going to give her all kinds of shit for being late. But she’s now with Steve at the door to his quarters and in a moment he’ll be safely inside.

He opens the door and she helps him inside. The place smells so strongly of him it’s intoxicating. Her head swims a little and heat floods her belly. That’s a sensation she wasn’t expecting.

She lets him go as soon as they get to the overstuffed couch. He plops down heavily with a painful grunt.

“Thank you, Hayley.”

“Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be alright. I can call Buck or Sam if I need anything. Tell Natasha you were with me if she gives you any shit, okay?”

There’s a hint of playfulness in his voice. Hayley’s mind is doing summersaults right now. She’s adamantly ignoring the rest of her body.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Hayley,” he groans. “Please--”

“I should go, Captain Rogers. Agent Romanov doesn’t cut anyone any slack,” she says as she backs up towards the door. Steve gives her a wounded look, beyond the obvious pain from his injuries.

“I hope you feel better soon,” she says and then hurries out of his quarters. As soon as the door is shut she slaps herself in the head. What the hell is she doing??

She runs back to the elevators and races to get to the training room.

She was right. Romanov didn’t cut her any slack and the two ended up sparring in front of the newbs. For educational purposes.

It was Maria Hill that stopped them. Sending both women on a mission. Hayley isn’t happy that she has to go with someone when she’s clearly capable of doing this shit on her own.

“I’m not happy about this either,” Natasha tells her as they board the jet. “I told them you are more than capable of handling this on your own.”

Hayley stays quiet. She’s not in the mood for anymore baited conversations today. She puts the utter weirdness with Steve -- CAPTAIN ROGERS -- on the back burner and focuses on the mission.

Romanov was right again. This was something Hayley could have most definitely handled on her own and probably one handed to boot. She’s done these types of missions hundreds of times on her own. The only advantage to having Romanov there was that they completed the mission in half the expected time.

It’s dark till they get back to the compound.

“Debrief at eight sharp. Make sure you show up,” Romanov states.

“Yes, Agent Romanov,” Hayley responds studiously. Romanov gives her a puzzled look as if she was expecting Hayley to say something sarcastic.

Hayley heads to the temporary quarters she has here and gets into the shower and then heads back to the large common area kitchen to see if she can find something to snack on.

The common kitchen has all kinds of crap: cookies, cakes, donuts, ice cream...how the hell do these people stay in shape? She ponders this as she finishes off her second donut and washes it down with some milk.

She finishes up, cleans up, and then meanders over to the lounge area.

She’s more than a little surprised to see Steve (CAPTAIN ROGERS she yells at herself) sitting on the giant sectional, his hand over his eyes, holding his head with his arm propped up on the arm of the sectional. The TV casts a soft glow on his features and once more she can see he’s in pain. What the hell…

He senses that she’s there and moves his hand.

“Are you okay?” she blurts out and cringes at herself. “Sorry, Sir. I mean...I shouldn’t have disturbed you. Again.”

“Don’t go,” he says quietly. “And it’s Steve. We’re not on duty right now.”

He motions for her to sit down on the sectional. She’s now at war with herself -- better judgment telling her to get her stupid ass out of there before she gets into trouble and whatever this draw towards the good Captain is telling her to go park her ass on the couch like he told her to.

She ignores better judgment and takes a seat at the opposite end of the sectional. He huffs a small laugh.

“You don’t have to sit all the way over there, Hayley.”

She debates this for a moment and then decides she should maybe just stay put for now.

“This is fine,” she says as calmly as she can, which doesn’t sound calm at all to her ears.

Rogers doesn’t say anything else, just goes back to holding his head up with his hand, fingers covering his eyes.

They sit in relative silence for a while, Hayley desperately trying to focus on whatever is on the TV. She can’t, though. She looks over at Steve. His eyes are closed. He’s nursing a monster headache if she had to wager a guess. She wonders why he’s not in his quarters sleeping. A little voice tries to tell her to just shut up and go before things escalate more. She ignores the voice. She stands up. The shift in the sectional makes Steve lift his head and open his eyes.

“Don’t leave. Please. Don’t...you don’t have to go because I’m here…”

“I was...going to ask….” she falters, her nerve to ask him this question dwindling.

“Ask what?” His voice is tired but he speaks gently to her. She finds just enough nerve to finish her question.

“If you’d let me have your seat. I like sitting on this side,” she says quickly. She didn’t even finish and Steve is already sliding down across the cushions. He moves over three spaces and then nods his head to his now empty spot. Hayley hesitates for a moment before grabbing one of the throw pillows from the floor and sitting down with the pillow clutched to her chest. Getting the question out seems easy compared to what else she has planned. Oh god she’s probably going to regret this so much…

Steve is now sitting with his arms folded over his chest and his head down. His eyes are closed again. She knows what she’s about to do may cost her dearly, but she can’t help herself. He’s in pain and if she’s reading his pleas for her to stay right, he doesn’t want to be alone...maybe....

“Steve.”

He lifts his head and looks at her. The TV highlights the pain in his blue eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asks worriedly. His concern that she’s got issues makes her heart clench. Who does that? Especially when they don’t feel good?

I could ask you the same thing, but I think you have a migraine.”

He gives her that weak smile.

“That obvious?”

“Do you want to lie down?” she asks, amazed at how calm and collected she sounds.

“I don’t feel like being alone in my quarters--”

“I mean here,” she interjects as she pats the pillow. She braces for what’s about to happen next. It’s like waiting for a nuke to hit.

“Hayley...you don’t...really?”

“Yes,” she replies softly. She pats the pillow once more.

====================================================================================================================================

Steve isn’t sure he’s not having some kind of delusional headache episode. He’s not sure Hayley’s made the offer he thinks she did or if he’s hurting so badly that he _wishes_ she made the offer. He furrows his brow and then winces at the increased pain level. He looks at her again and she nods, hand patting the pillow on her lap.

He slides closer hoping and praying this isn’t some kind of hallucination and then leans over till his head is on the pillow in her lap.

“Is this okay?” she asks. He can hear the nervousness in her voice.

“Yes. Thank you,” he answers gratefully. He feels her cool hand on his brow and he shuts his eyes.

“Still okay?” she asks. He’s touched by her concern to not overstep whatever boundaries he may have with her -- which at this point are none. He’s sure that this can be seen as crossing the line with a recruit but he doesn’t give a shit right now.

“Mm hmmm,” he mumbles. He likes how soft her hand is. How good it feels on his heated brow. How she’s applying just the right amount of pressure to alleviate the pain in his head.

“Steve...can I play with your hair?”

He can’t help the chuckle that bubbles out of his chest. He feels her tense up and now he’s scared he’s upset her and she’s going to run. Again. Because he’s an idiot.

He puts his hand over top of hers and runs his thumb over her soft skin in an effort to try and calm her down.

“It’s okay, Hayley. I think I might like that,” he says softly.

He’s never had a woman play with his hair much less ask to do so. When Hayley starts, when she runs her fingers through his hair and her nails lightly scratch at his scalp he’s in awe of how amazing it feels. He’s even more impressed at the fact that it seems to settle Hayley down. She’s no longer as tense as she was. This is a win/win if ever there was one.

The TV drones on in the background but it’s nothing but a faint buzzing in his ears now. He has no idea how long he’s been laying here in her lap, only that it has helped his headache in a way the Excedrin could not. This is heavenly. He wonders if she’d do this for him even if he didn’t have a headache. He drifts off wondering how to ask her about this.

He slowly opens his eyes and blinks away the sleep fog. The TV is still on but the volume has been turned way down now. He shifts a little and he feels her cool hand back on his brow.

“You’re alright. You fell asleep,” Hayley whispers.

“I fell asleep,” he repeats. He’s surprised to hear this.

“Yup.”

“I’m sorry,” he groans feeling ashamed suddenly. How could he just nod off and leave her like this? What if one of the other recruits saw them? He doesn’t want her being talked about…

“For what?” she asks. Her fingers find their way into his hair again and for a moment it’s sheer bliss.

“Falling asleep,” he mumbles, trying to focus.

“How’s your head?”

“Better,” he says, pleased that it’s the truth. He carefully rolls onto his back, keeping his head in her lap. He’s afraid the minute he sits up she’s going to find a reason to run off and he’ll never get to talk to her. That’s all he wants right now. Well, that and to have her run her fingers through his hair some more.

“You don’t look as pale as you did,” she muses, studying his face. He grins and she looks away. He can see she’s blushing faintly and there’s a smile on her lips.

“I was pale?” he asks. She looks at him again, her green eyes lit up by the light of the TV. She brushes his hair back gently and he has to fight to keep from moaning.

“A little, yeah.”

“Do you do this a lot?” he asks and then flinches because he’s worried she may misconstrue what he means.

She skews an eyebrow at him.

“Sit with a random guy’s head in my lap? No. This is a first.”

“I didn’t mean any offense.”

“I didn’t think you did...Steve.”

There’s an air of playfulness in her voice, the smile on her lips increasing just a bit. He’s not sure what’s happening here, but he likes it.

“See? That’s so much easier than saying   _Captain Rogers_ all the time. Not so much of a mouthful,” he says teasing her a bit. She laughs which was just the reaction he was hoping for.

“This is true,” she admits. She runs her fingers through his hair a little more and he closes his eyes again.

He opens his eyes after a few moments and sighs.

“It’s late, Steve,” she says softly. He looks at his watch. It’s after three in the morning.

“Shit,” he grumbles. “Yeah, I’d say. Can I walk you back to your quarters?”

“I don’t see how I can tell you no since it’s on the way to yours,” she jokes. He likes this. He likes this a lot.

He sits up and rubs his neck. His head swims a bit from the sudden change in position, and there’s a dull residual ache, but nothing like it was. God what he would give just to sit with her like this again sometime soon. Like tomorrow after breakfast.

She’s watching him and he gives her a sheepish grin.

“Sure you’re okay? Maybe we should detour to medical first.”

“No. It’s just a headache. It’s pretty much gone thanks to you,” he tells her.

“I think that nap you took was the deciding factor in that,” she says as she gets up and stretches.

“Maybe,” he says through a yawn as he gets up, too. “Come on,” he says turning the TV off, “let's get out of here.”

They walk in silence to the elevators, Steve still trying to find a rational way to ask Hayley if they can hang out so she will play with his hair and hold his head again. Maybe he can stay upright and put his arm around her? No, no, no. Too fast. Way too fast.

“You’ve never had anyone ask to play with your hair?” she questions after the elevator doors open to their floor.

“No. Never had a girl play with my hair either. It’s not long and shiny like Buck’s is,” he says in a high pitched voice. She laughs and then clamps her hand over her mouth to silence herself. This makes him laugh and he ends up doing the same thing. They’re both tired and punchy it seems. They walk down the hall trying to giggle quietly and it’s like the two of them are drunk and Steve can’t remember the last time he laughed this much with a girl.

They get to her door and suddenly it’s like the night is ending too soon.

“Thanks for doing what you did, Hayley.”

“If it helped it was worth it.”

Awkward silence.

“Do you think anyone saw us?” he asks. She shakes her head no.

“I didn’t see anyone but that doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t think that through, I guess--”

“It’s my fault. I should have said no…”

The light in her eyes disappears.

“I shouldn’t have suggested it. I’m sorry,” she says looking down. Her voice is now void of emotion and it hurts him.

“I didn’t mean...Hayley, that’s not…”

“Steve? What the hell are you doing up?” Bucky asks trudging towards him. He sees Hayley and his eyes widen. Hayley’s face is a mask of stone now.

“Good night, Captain Rogers,” she says quickly. She disappears into her quarters, closing the door quietly behind her. Steve feels like the world just imploded and he has no fucking idea how it happened.

====================================================================================================================================

Hayley strips on her way back to the bedroom, mentally demeaning herself about her foolish behaviour tonight. How could she be so motherfucking stupid? What was she thinking? A superior officer no less…

_I should have told you no._

His words ring in her ears and turn her stomach.

“You stupid bitch,” she mutters to herself as she climbs into the bed. “You stupid, stupid cunt.”

After years of avoiding people, years of stonewalling other agents attempts to befriend her, years of ignoring that gnawing loneliness, she has to fuck everything up by trusting Wanda and then foolishly following her what? Heart? No. She doesn’t have any feelings for Rogers. It was sympathy.

Yeah, sympathy for the goddamn devil.

Hayley tosses and turns till sleep finally drifts over her, but it’s anything but restful. Nightmares from her past seep into her sleeping mind. Long forgotten wounds resurface bringing with them searing pain. These aren’t physical wounds. These are mental wounds. Wounds that never heal. Never scar. Wounds that can only be buried deep and with luck forgotten about. Not tonight, though. Tonight they rise to the surface to choke and mock Hayley.

====================================================================================================================================

“What the hell happened?” Bucky asks as he and Steve walk down the hall towards Steve’s quarters.

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit. You look like you did...when Sharon dumped you.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah. Wait. You weren’t dating her, were you? Agent Thirteen?”

“Hayley. Her name is Hayley,” Steve says opening the door to his quarters. Bucky follows him in. “And no. We aren’t dating.”

“Were you?”

“Past tense? No. She’s...I don’t know, Buck. I don’t know what the hell is going on with her. Or with me. Aside from the fact that I’m an idiot.”

“That is a proven fact, yes, but what happened, Steve?”

“I don’t know,” Steve growls. He throws himself onto the overstuffed couch and buries his face in the cushion.

“Little old for tantrums, aren’t you?” Bucky asks. It’s not his normal teasing tone, it’s that brotherly tone he tends to take when Steve’s at his wits end over a girl or some shit that isn’t team related.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” Steve mumbles from the couch.

“Start at the beginning and walk me through how you ended up here,” Bucky answers nonchalantly.

“Get me a bottle of Gatorade,” he says as he sits up. Bucky disappears into the tiny kitchen and comes back with a Gatorade for Steve and Mt. Dew for himself.

“I don’t know how you sleep.”

“I don’t. We both know this,” Bucky says flatly. “Talk.”

Steve takes a deep breath and starts to recant the events as he remembers them starting with the movie and ending with him waking up with his head in her lap and then saying what he said at her door.

“You are an idiot, kid.”

“You’re not fucking helping.”

“Why would you tell her that you should have said no when _clearly_ you wanted her to do this and by your own goddamn admission still want her to?”

“I wasn’t thinking! I just...she said she should have thought it through and I said that and then...it’s like I lost her, Buck. Like whoever Hayley is vanished and…”

“You like this girl, don’t you?” Bucky asks.

“She’s a friend. Someone who I thought saw me for more than just the damn shield. She doesn’t call me Cap.”

“You had to fight with her to call you Steve,” Bucky reminds him.

“She’s a consummate professional,” Steve retorts. Bucky laughs at him.

“Uh huh. You ever think maybe she’s scared of getting to know you or anyone else, kid? Maybe that’s why she tried to keep it professional?”

“Why would she be scared, Buck?” Steve demands.

“How trusting were you when you woke up from the ice?”

“That’s different.”

“How trusting am I?”

“You have your reasons.”

“She doesn’t? What do you know about this girl other than her name, her skills, her age, and the fact that she was with SHIELD since she was fucking twelve, Steve? What exactly do you know about her outside of that?” Bucky’s tone is fierce now and Steve feels defensive suddenly.

“I don’t know...I know she likes the _Alien_ movies,” he says defiantly. Bucky blinks at him in disbelief then starts laughing.

“Okay, Stevie. Is that all you got on this dame?”

Steve flops back over onto the couch.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Leave her alone for a little while. See what she does. Get some goddamn sleep, Steve.”

“I’m supposed to debrief with her in the morning along with Natasha.”

“It is morning.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You have two choices,” Bucky says getting out of the chair. “You can either be completely professional and act like none of this happened or you can address it with her after the debriefing and out of earshot of Nat and do it as friends. Since that’s all you claim to be.”

“Get out,” Steve groans.

“Night, Stevie,” Bucky taunts as he leaves. Steve growls at him. He hears the door shut and he lifts his head. It hurts again. Badly. He doesn’t understand what the hell possessed him to say what he did. Why the hell would he have told her no? Okay, aside from the goddamn rumor mill that may or may not happen, but...they can be friends and do that, right? It’s not like they kissed or were groping each other. It’s not like he pinned her down on the couch and ravished her. It’s not like she was on her knees in front of him, mouth open in a perfect _O_ around his cock as she bobbed up and down on him while he had his fingers tangled in her dark hair…

He groans and palms himself through his jeans. This isn’t helping, it’s only making things worse. Goddammit.

He gets up, takes a cold shower and then does his best to try and get a few hours of sleep.

====================================================================================================================================

The alarm shrieks and Hayley rips the cord from the wall to silence the evil piece of shit. She feels like she hasn’t slept in a week. Her mind is fogged over from the nightmares. It’s just after seven and she’s supposed to meet with Rogers to do the debriefing.

Rogers.

Jesus jumped up fucking Christ on a goddamn Triscuit. What the fuck was she thinking? Helping him down the hall to his quarters? Sure, okay, that’s fine. That was nothing. Just some good samaritan/team player bullshit. Last night? Nooooo. Not so much.

“Put your head in my lap,” she mocks herself as she gets into the shower. “Can I play with your hair?”

She loathes herself right now. Absolutely abhors everything about herself. She turns the water to scalding in an effort to try and burn off the embarrassment she caused herself.

It doesn’t work. She can still hear his voice, clear as a bell, saying _I should have said no_.

Maybe she should request Siberia and just be done with it.

She finishes up in the shower, gets dressed, fixes her hair and takes lots of deep breaths before heading to the debriefing room.

She keeps telling herself to keep it cool, keep it short and sweet, and then get the fuck out of there. With luck they’ll ship her out on some other mission. With a miracle she’ll be reassigned.

She steps into the room and nearly loses her resolve when she sees Rogers waiting for her. He looks like he didn’t sleep either. She puts her hand behind her back and digs her nails into the flesh of her palm to remind herself to hold it together. Romanov walks in a moment later, thank god.

“Good, let’s get started,” Rogers says without looking at Romanov. Hayley directs her attention to the report he hands her. This is Romanov’s handy work. She didn’t type up shit when she got back...because Romanov told her just to go to the fucking debriefing….

She purses her lips waiting for the reaming to begin.

“Anything out of the ordinary?” he asks. She feels Romanov’s eyes on her, but she stays quiet. If they want an answer from her they will address her directly.

“No. Agent Thirteen took care of the brunt of the work. It wasn’t something we both needed to be there for.”

“Did you have any issues, Hay-Agent Thirteen?” Rogers asks, catching himself before he could call her Hayley.

“No, Sir.”

Steve continues with a litany of questions, most of which Romanov answers. Hayley only makes eye contact for a few brief moments on the questions Rogers directs to her. She drops her eyes to the report right after she hears her name. _Agent Thirteen._ That’s who she is. She should scrub Hayley Stone’s existence off the fucking map now.

“I see you two managed to gather the intel in half the time. You work well together. That’s good to see. Is there anything else I need to be made aware of?” Rogers asks. Hayley is thankful that it’s starting to wrap up.

“Nope.”

“No, Sir.”

She glances up long enough to see Romanov and Rogers exchange some sort of look. She drops her eyes before they notice.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” Rogers asks.

“Are we training those new recruits still?” Romanov questions.

“They’re with Clint this week. Next week it’s Sam.”

“Weapons training and then I think Maria had something planned for Agent Thirteen here.”

They’re waiting for a response from her, but they won’t get one. Speak when spoken to.

“Agent, I would find Maria when we’re finished here and see what that is. Anything else?” Rogers asks.

“Not right now,” Romanov says rising from her seat. Hayley puts the report down and stands up. Rogers stands up last.

“See you later, Nat,” he says as Romanov exits the room. “Hayley, stop,” he says before Hayley can get to the door. She freezes.

“Yes, Sir?”

“No more _Sir_ , Hayley. Just...shut the door so we can talk, please.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sir.”

“Hayley, please look at me.”

She does as she’s told and turns around to face him. He looks like somebody kicked his kitten.

“Please shut the door. I just want to talk to you in private--”

“With all due respect, Sir, unless this pertains to what we just covered or some other mission you have set up for me I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”

He gawks at her for a moment before finding his own resolve and squaring his shoulders.

“Dismissed, Agent,” he says firmly. Hayley turns on her heels and walks out of the room. She keeps herself together as she heads into the courtyard and finds a secluded bench out of sight of the compound. She sits down and breaks, heaving breaths as the panic engulfs her and the fear and remorse devour her. She doesn't understand why it hurts so much.

 

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End file.
